


The Dangers of Grocery Shopping

by Tofudonut



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4352420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tofudonut/pseuds/Tofudonut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin decides to go to the store after work....Boy, was that a bad idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dangers of Grocery Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> We both reach for the last chocolate milk gallon I will fight you au

Thorin had just gotten off work and was on his way to the grocery store. He had not had a moment to go shopping this week and his cabinets at home where getting pretty bare. Not a good thing when you have two high school boys demanding food.

He pulled into the parking lot and grabbed his grocery list before heading to the the front doors of the building.

eggs  
chocolate milk (has to be chocolate!)  
cereal (not the gross kind)  
regular milk (we’ll need that for the cereal!)  
some gushers  
Hot Pockets!  
marshmallows  
Twinkies (No Zingers! BOTH!!)  
pasta? (maybe? we didn’t check?)  
Donuts  
Chips  
Microwave pizza rolls (Pepperoni!)  
Peanut butter  
fruit (Fili wants bananas! and Kili wants strawberries!)  
and we might need other things...

Never again was he having the boys make the grocery list. They probably did need eggs and milk, but everything else was dubious. 

As Thorin walked through the aisles he grabbed all the things he thought the house needed as well as a few things from the list. The boys had been doing fairly well in school Fili getting A’s and B’s, while Kili was still getting a few C’s and a D- in chemistry. Though Kili was trying, now that he had Tauriel tutoring him. They deserved a treat. Or three.

His mind wondered as he went about grabbing produce off the shelves when he spotted the last chocolate milk.

 **Last one! Perfect!** He speed walked over and grabbed the handle when two slightly smaller hands gripped the sided. Thorin froze when he saw a man with golden brown hair glaring up at him.

“Um, Excuse me, Sir, but could you please let go?”

“No, you let go!” the man shot back, giving the gallon a tug.

“I had it first! You let go!”

“No, I did!” his face was scrunched up like an angry kitten that thought it looked threatening.

“Let go!” Thorin yanked the gallon to pull it out of the other man’s hands, but sent the man flying into some nearby shelves instead. “Oh! I'm so sorry!” Thorin ran over to the man and tried to help him up. Instead of grabbing Thorin’s hand the man pounced on him and tried to pry his hand off the handle. Realizing that he wasn’t strong enough the small man bit Thorin’s wrist. Thorin shouted in pain using his other hand, about the size of the other’s face, to push his head away!

They thrashed about on the ground for awhile as Thorin tried to dislodge the man. The store staff quickly appeared around them shouting things neither one cared to listen to. Thorin finally removed the man from his hand and pinned him to the ground just for the man to kick him square between the legs.

As Thorin groaned in pain and curled into himself the man, Bilbo, Thorin over heard him say, told the staff Thorin was the one to attack him! The staff quickly apologized and helped lead him away to ‘safety’. Once Thorin could get up a man that worked for the store angrily asked him to leave.

“Me!” Thorin roared, “I wasn’t the one that attacked and BIT someone!”

“Sir!” the employee barked, “If you do not leave now I will be forced to call security!”

“I’m not leaving! I haven’t finished shopping!” Glaring daggers at the man Thorin walked over to his cart and began to push it down the next aisle. He didn’t even make it a third of the way down the aisle before two large men walked over and stopped his cart.

“Get out of the way!” Thorin growled through clenched teeth. Without a word the two men grabbed him by the arms and dragged him, screaming and cursing, out of the building and into the parking lot.

“Let go of me!!” Thorin thrashed. The men dropped him on the ground and turned to walk back into the building. Grumbling under his breath Thorin pulled out his keys and got into his car, that happened to be on the opposite side of the large parking lot. “ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS BUY SOME FOOD!!” he shouted as he drove down the road, ready for a stiff drink.


End file.
